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"An Anonymous Story"

alcoholism symptoms Alcoholism signs were flashing like neon  lights on his alcohol flushed face but he didn't see them...or feel the alcoholism symptoms...until one fateful day on an asphalt country road.

Friends, relatives, and employees were awe-struck by the alcoholism signs and alcoholism symptoms, but they were helpless to help him.

He was in a hopeless pursuit of that magical time when drinking worked for him. Before the alcohol short circuited his electric brain and pickled his conscience. Before he had the nightly blackouts and then the bleak churning anxiety getting through the next day.

He grabbed that first cold bottle of beer each night as if it were going to transport him and his problems to good times past. Instead, it transported him to the land of shots and beers (needed) to put him down for the night.

His wife and son drifted away as if in a dream but a nightmare for him because he was paralyzed and couldn't stop them. After they left, the number of shots needed to put himself down increased. Thoughts about how to stop drinking never entered his mind.

His business was slowly sinking yet the alcoholism signs and symptoms floated like red channel buoys bobbing in the waves yelling for attention. His employees did their best to help him, wanted to throw him a life jacket, but after being spurned, stopped.

The drinking driving facts, widely publicized, and recited by friends, should have warned him, but he drank and drove anyway.

On that fateful day he evaded the mounting problems of his business by sneaking away at noon and getting drunk in a local tavern. He somehow ended up driving down a heavily wooded country road in a blackout.

He never saw the large female deer before he hit it. He realized something was dreadfully wrong when he came out of his drunken stupor while being flung forward in his seat belt. It was then that he and his perceptions crashed into reality. He saw the deer hanging on the front of his car, bleating loudly, until it was finally able to get free and hobble into the woods.

The next thing he saw was a boy who looked like his son. He was on his bicycle, stopped, and staring right through him, 10 yards in front of his car. In spite of the jolt he had taken, or maybe because of it, he instantly knew that if it hadn't been for the deer, he would have ran over the boy.

The fear was so deep his stomach went numb. His head was pulsing with pain as the image of the boy's image came in and out of focus.

Something else was going on but he was completely unaware of it. The feeling he associated with the incident and the meaning he gave to it collided, combined, became fused, in his electric brain. The fusion produced the state he was in. That's how "state's of mind" work.

He went home, slowly, and even though the perspiration dried he felt soiled and dank. He looked for salvation once again in cold beer but couldn't get drunk. He couldn't shut out the fear and even when he turned to shots of whisky, instead of getting a release, his view of the world turned stark and he exhibited yet another sign of alcoholism. He couldn't drink and he couldn't not drink. He felt like he was stuck in a God-forsaken prison, helpless and hopeless.

                      More about the story and alcoholism symptoms.

"More Alcoholism Symptoms."

The next day he suddenly had a gripping focus on the symptoms of alcoholism.

He combed the Internet for nuggets of information, for answers to his dilemma, for the best way to "beat alcoholism." He read that a dysfunctional liver and pancreas caused the disease by not creating enough enzymes to complete the chemical decomposition of alcohol.

He became excited, felt that surely there must be a cure and then his heart dropped when he read the solution: "strict abstinence from alcoholism."

A chance meeting with a former employee while filling up his car with gas grabbed his interest. He had let this employee go two years earlier for missing work and lack of performance. He was uneasy when he saw him approach and was startled when the former employee thanked him for firing him and said he was alcohol-free for two years and although he had struggled for a while, he was now comfortably sober.

"We all drink like there is no tomorrow and for some us there isn't," the former employee told him. "You have to find some way to make sobriety fit because drinking will never fit." "You are beating yourself on the head with a hammer, you have to stop, before you do too much damage to yourself."

He wanted to learn how to stop drinking.

He went back to the Internet and found something called the Jacobi Method. The Jacobi MethodHe was biased against self-help books (doubted that they would work for him) but on second thought, decided that he didn't have anything to lose. As a matter of fact, he decided that the results could be catastrophic if he didn't stop doing a number on himself.

He downloaded the book and was soon filling out something called a Self-Evolutionary template. The book contained a generic process, designed for obtaining any goal, but was being used by a lot of alcoholics.

He soon realized that he had a lot of decisions to make and would have to make major changes in his life.

More about  the story and alcoholism treatment.

"Alcoholism Addiction Treatment Plan."

He designed a solution using the Jacobi Method. It took time, painful reflection, and help from the former employee. He kept remembering his voice: "You can get sober if you want to."

He joined Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) but decided not to go to a rehab. He relapsed three times during the first week but was then able to get sober. He stayed focused by frequently referring back to his Self-Evolutionary template. He used it like a mantra.

His problem was complicated by having been physically and emotionally abused by an older brother from ages three to thirteen. He began therapy, especially for that issue and was soon making progress. He was eliminating his tendency to get into abusive business relationships. He also created a plan (using the Self-Evolutionary template) for saving his declining business.

He was just another alcoholic in one sense...he felt cheap and believed he didn't deserved better...but something happened...he looked deep inside...decided he had value...decided that he was worth what ever it took to get sober.

He was glad that his solution was comprehensive. His former wife had a brother and sister who were alcoholic. They sobered up but didn't follow through with the other issues in their lives. They weren't doing very well.

He reported that he hadn't approached his former wife and son yet but knew that someday he would.

                                                                 ...the story is ongoing.

 

Copyright 2004 by David A. Jacobi

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